I'm A Good Little Girl is a one person show, a monologue. It is a comedy with serious undertones. It has been done by ages as young as 8 years old and as old as 18. The role can be played by a female of almost any age. Depending on the age of the actress, the play will take on different meanings and interpretations. The bell that rings throughout the play is an ominous, controlling presence in the girl's life. When it rings, the girl instantly obeys.
GIRL: 8-13 years old
Outside of a Native American casino.
I’m A Good Little Girl was originally written for and performed by a talented 8-year old actress who lived in South Carolina in 1999.
I’m A Good Little Girl was first published in 2000 as part of the collection Plays For Kids To Do: Volume 1
A young girl sits outside of a casino waiting for her parents. She talks about her life. Her attempts to play are always thwarted by the bell or memories of an authority figure. She does the following: talks about her parents playing the slot machines in the casino and the men in the blue jackets, learns the proper name for the native people of America, prays for more chocolate and softer pews, pretends to be Miss Rhode Island at the Miss America Pageant, battles the turnip Monster, sings and dances, and sits a variety of ways—finally, just sitting properly and saying "I'm a good little girl."
(GIRL ENTERS WITH A CHAIR. SHE PUTS IT DOWN HARD. SHE WEARS A WHITE DRESS. SHE SITS IN A VERY PROPER MANNER, LIKE A LITTLE LADY. SPEAKS TO AUDIENCE )
GIRL: This is my life. They tell me to sit, I sit. My parents love when I sit here like this. I'm being a good little girl. This chair is like an elevator. I sit in the same place, looking through the same door. The only thing that changes is what I see when the door opens. You might be wondering what floor I'm on now. Well, right now my parents are in that room over there playing the slot machines. I can see them now. They always stay where I can see them. Looks like they're losing today. I'd like to go over and watch, but those guys in the blue coats never let me in. I wonder why. I don't have any money to lose. I always come here expecting to see Indians. I was told this place was run by some tribe, but I don't see any teepees. Just those guys in the blue jackets. I come here all the time, and they still act like I'm not here. They have these blank looks on their faces. Must be from having to wear the same clothes everyday.
(GETS UP AND MIMES BOUNCES A BALL. A BELL RINGS. SHE SITS. TALKS TO A TEACHER.)
No, Miss Bulging Eyes, I don't have my homework. (PAUSE) Well, I didn't have time this weekend. (PAUSE) There were these men in blue jackets pretending to be Indians that wouldn't let me... (PAUSE) sorry, Native Americans. (PAUSE) Do I have to? (PAUSE) Native Americans are from America, and Indians are from India. Native Americans are from America, and Indians are from India. Native Americans are from America, and Indians are from India. (PAUSE) There were these men in blue jackets pretending to be NATIVE AMERICANS who wouldn't let me do my homework. (PAUSE) Really, Miss Bulging Eyes. They would only let me sit there. (PAUSE) Where were my parents? Well, they were hypnotized by the men in the blue jackets. Really. My Mom and Dad were just standing there like this. (STANDS) And they were just staring like this. (STARES WITH WIDE EYES) And they were just doing this with their arms. (PRETENDS TO PULL A SLOT MACHINE LEVER OVER AND OVER) It was very scary. I'm not telling a fib. Please, don't make me stay after school. My parents both work, and my babysitter doesn't drive. It's a real long walk. I promise I'll do double homework tonight. I promise.
(BELL RINGS. SHE PLAYS WITH THE BALL. BELL RINGS. SHE KNEELS ON THE SIDE OF THE CHAIR AND PRAYS)
God, tonight I would like to add three things to my list of sacred desires. First, I want a larger daily supply of chocolate. Mom says I shouldn't eat a lot of it, but she eats half a big bag of M+M's everyday. So, it can't be bad for you. I think it makes her happy. She always smiles at my Dad when he brings her chocolate. And she hardly ever smiles. More chocolate, please. I also want softer pews at church. Why do they have to be so hard, anyway? Since I started third grade, I get all these books, and my knapsack is making my back hurt. And when I have to sit in those pews, it really hurts. Just a few cushions would be nice. Lastly, I'd like to be Miss America. I know that I'm from Rhode Island, and no one from here ever wins, but if you help me, I think that can change.
Miss Rhode Island! Hi, I'm Miss Rhode Island. Evening gown!
(WALKS DOWN STAGE AND THEN RIGHT TO LEFT AS IF SHE IS ON A RUNWAY.)
Swimsuit! And now for the question.
(IN DEEP VOICE) Miss Rhode Island, why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?
(IN MISS RHODE ISLAND'S VOICE) Well, Mr. Judge, because I'm so incredibly beautiful and smart, and I smell like bird seed.
(IN DEEP VOICE) And Miss Rhode Island wins because she's funny! Yay! Yay! Bravo!! Bravo!!!
(IN OWN VOICE) Yeah, Mom, I'm going to sleep. I'm being good.
(BELL RINGS. SHE SITS. PRETENDS TO EAT SOMETHING)
I'm sorry. I always forget.
(PUTS A NAPKIN ON HER LAP)
Dad, I think I grew an inch. (PAUSE) My mouth isn't full.
(CHEWS AND SWALLOWS)
Mom, do you think I could be Miss America?
The royalty for a .pdf copy of I’m A Good Little Girl licensed for performance and classroom use is $10.00 (USD), which includes:
1. Please read the
License, Terms & Agreements
2. No refunds. All orders are final. Please make sure you read the script sample and synopsis carefully before ordering. This policy is in place for copyright protection.
3. Scripts (including license, receipt, and Q&A For The Actors) will be sent free by email by midnight (EST) of the next business day (Mon-Fri). You'll receive an email with the licensed script (pdf) attached, followed by a backup email that contains a secure dropbox download link. Often, I get the emails out the same day you order, so check your inbox. If you don't receive it within the promised time, please contact me right away.
4. 6-8% sales tax on Georgia, USA orders only (rates vary per county).
5. The buyer will be the licensee . If you want the licensee to be different than the buyer (e.g. school, drama club, etc.), or to add an additional name to the license, contact me by email after you complete your order.